To throw a successful Halloween Party, one needs the following ingredients:
- a wild imagination
- the desire to have fun
- an even bigger desire to impress one’s guests
- a bit of a macabre side
Not everyone can throw a successful Halloween Party. It takes skill, creativity and an unfaltering need to go WAY overboard! If you’re one of the few, or have decided this year to take the plunge, you’re in good company! There are plenty of great resources to help you, including one of my faves, www.halloweenforum.com, and our 5-part series entitled 5 Steps to Halloween Success starts now! And you thought summer was a vacation!
There are five essential points you need to address to host a Halloween Party for the History books. Here they are all at once, although we will break them down individually, so just take it one step at a time.
Choose a Theme
Themes are never more important than on Halloween. Themes can include things like a murder mystery evening, Vamps and Vixens or a family friendly Jungle Animals evening. Your theme will determine how much gore is involved in your party, the music you play, even the food you prepare and serve. No wonder we put it at the top of the list!
Your theme will be individual to your party intentions and your guests, but here are a few Halloween Party Theme Ideas to get you started:
Murder Mystery
Of course it’s at the top of our list! Murder mystery games are easy, quick and perfect for every occasion – especially Halloween! Your guests take on roles of suspects in a murder, and everyone, including guests who aren’t suspects, gather clues to figure out the identity of the killer. These games also come in the kid-friendly variety with no murder. Visit www.shotinthedarkmysteries.com to pick the perfect game for your Halloween Party!
Haunted House
Your house is done up as a haunted house complete with ghosts, spider webs and things popping out from dark corners. Your guests come dressed as spirits from beyond.
Zombies
A zombie-themed party is a great way to give your guests an idea of what to expect while leaving the door open for them to express their creativity. Guests can make the zombie theme their own by arriving as zombie prom dates, zombie bride and/or groom, zombie angels – pretty much any costume one can imagine can have “zombie” put in front of it to fit into the theme of the party.
Vamps and Vixens
Not for the kiddies, this is one of our favourite types of Halloween themes, just because everyone really seems to embrace the challenge. It’s like a spooky version of the traditional Tarts and Vicars parties, which were so popular a decade ago. Really want to spice this theme up? Make it a gender reversal and have the women dress as the vampires and the men as the vixens!
Magic
We love this idea for the same reasons we love the zombie theme – the guests have the opportunity to dazzle you with their creativity. You do up your house with all things magic, and then tell your guests to come as something relating to magic. The person who suggested this theme said they had wizards, illusionists, dark cultists, witches, professors from Hogwarts, fantasy characters, enchanted creatures, faeries and spirits. Wow, what a turn out!
Literary or Theatre Characters
This is a fun one for sure! Everyone comes as a literary or theatre character, depending on which theme you choose. You could have Roxy from Chicago chatting with the Phantom of the Opera!
Horror Movie Characters
To add that bit more gore, have all of your guests dress up as a bad guy from a horror movie. You’re sure to have Michael, the Scream face and at least one or two mutants. Go the extra mile and make each room of your house an homage to a different horror movie by replicating a scene.
60’s, 70’s, 80’s or 90’s Theme
Pick a decade and have your guests dress up as something or someone from that era. Your decorations and music are pretty easy after that – line your walls with pin ups from the era and music everyone can groan over.
Once you’ve determined your theme, some of the details will fall right into place. The next step is, of course, getting the word out about your party, which we will discuss in the next Host On The Run issue, so stay tuned!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Zen and the Art of Crafting a Fabulous Guest List
Shot In The Dark Mystery Games' Mystery Maiden shares secrets to crafting the perfect guest list for your murder mystery game party.
One of the factors that can make or break a party is the guest list. Certain guests thrive in certain situations while shying away from others. When I put on a murder mystery game party, I invite different people than I would for my grandfather's 89th birthday party. This is a simple comparison, but sometimes the lines between pleasing everyone and throwing a crowd-pleasing party blur.
Practicing the art of crafting a perfect guest list does not mean turning your back on your friends. Once you've determined the theme of your party you will better know what you are trying to accomplish. When throwing a dinner party, my guest list is extremely different than the list I craft to throw a murder mystery game party. Many of the guests who attend my murder mystery game parties are outgoing and vivacious, whereas those who thrive in a dinner party setting are usually a bit more formal.
Before you begin scratching names from your guest list, remember this: your base cast need only be suited for the party. Let's talk a bit about casting. Recently, I threw a surprise murder mystery game party for my aunt's 60th birthday. Because the venue was a pool hall, I needed to cast people who would be able to deliver share clues over the noise, and were bold enough to wander around and share secrets with everyone.
Some people stand right out as those you can cast as characters. You know right away that if you give them a clue, they will act it up, ham it up, shout it out and make it fun. Others... well, perhaps you're not so sure. My cousin is a great example of this. I have known him all my life and cast him as the murderer at the Pool Hall Pummeling event. He is a bit subdued, but I just knew he could take the part and run with it. Boy, was I right. By round two he was shouting accusations, adding his own little one-liners to clues and delivering share information without skipping a beat!
Just because someone might not be perfect for a character, though, doesn't mean they can't come, and it certainly doesn't mean they can't play. These people just need a different role.
So how do you craft the perfect guest list? Why, it's as simple as 1, 2, 3...4.
1. If you haven't yet created a tentative guest list, start there. Write down everyone that comes to your mind without thinking whether they would be good characters or not. You are brainstorming here, so don't pre-judge, just let your pencil (or your fingers on the keyboard) fly.
2. A few people will stand out in your mind right away as those who would make excellent characters. Put a star next to their names or highlight them yellow. You will know how many characters you can assign by checking that game on the Shot In The Dark Mysteries Website or by referring to the second page of the materials you downloaded when you purchased the game. In this example, I will use Murder On The Mound, which requires 11-12 characters.
Thomas Hardy
James Brown *
Betty Boop *
Florence Hendersen*
Tony Tiger
Mary Contrary
Elton John *
Chris Angel *
Bono
Rene Levesque
Harrison Ford
Michelle Miles *
Billie Jean
Barney Rubble
Mi Prima Ballerina *
Gnarls Barkley *
Stevie Nicks
Rose Tyler *
Ewan Mcgregor *
Acheron Hades *
Weird Al Yanovick*
Belinda Stronach
Warrick Brown
Frank Pembleton
Alfred Hitchcock
3. Determine who, although not playing a character, would make a good supplementary player - for example, someone to deliver clues, read the chapter introductions, share the mystery solution etc. (For more ideas on this topic, read the article "Tips for drawing in extra guests...) Mark these people with a different symbol or highlighter colour. These people will shy away a bit from the limelight, but will enjoy being involved. Now my list looks like this:
Thomas Hardy ~
James Brown *
Betty Boop *
Florence Hendersen*
Tony Tiger
Mary Contrary ~
Elton John *
Chris Angel *
Bono
Rene Leveque
Harrison Ford
Michelle Miles *
Billie Jean
Barney Rubble
Mi Prima Ballerina *
Gnarls Barkley *
Stevie Nicks
Rose Tyler *
Ewan Mcgregor *
Acheron Hades *
Weird Al Yanovick*
Belinda Stronach
Warrick Brown ~
Frank Pembleton
Alfred Hitchcock ~
4. Who is left? Obviously the rest of the people on my list are going to at least enjoy watching the murder mystery game unfold and casting an accusation at the end, or they wouldn't be on my list in the first place. These people play an important role, even though any great murder mystery game can occur without them. They are the impartial witnesses who will be able to give excellent insight when it's time to make accusations. We call these people "witnesses" or "detectives", "CSI's" or any additional role that fits in with the plot. In Murder On The Mound - a baseball-themed murder mystery game, these precious others can be cast as fans in the stands. In the Wizard of Oz Murder Mystery, you can designate the others as Munchkins! Regardless, these people will not be relied upon for the game to work, but will still enjoy the theatrics!
Your guest list can make or break your party, but following these simple steps will ensure your party will be a hit, and your zen-like state will remain.
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
One of the factors that can make or break a party is the guest list. Certain guests thrive in certain situations while shying away from others. When I put on a murder mystery game party, I invite different people than I would for my grandfather's 89th birthday party. This is a simple comparison, but sometimes the lines between pleasing everyone and throwing a crowd-pleasing party blur.
Practicing the art of crafting a perfect guest list does not mean turning your back on your friends. Once you've determined the theme of your party you will better know what you are trying to accomplish. When throwing a dinner party, my guest list is extremely different than the list I craft to throw a murder mystery game party. Many of the guests who attend my murder mystery game parties are outgoing and vivacious, whereas those who thrive in a dinner party setting are usually a bit more formal.
Before you begin scratching names from your guest list, remember this: your base cast need only be suited for the party. Let's talk a bit about casting. Recently, I threw a surprise murder mystery game party for my aunt's 60th birthday. Because the venue was a pool hall, I needed to cast people who would be able to deliver share clues over the noise, and were bold enough to wander around and share secrets with everyone.
Some people stand right out as those you can cast as characters. You know right away that if you give them a clue, they will act it up, ham it up, shout it out and make it fun. Others... well, perhaps you're not so sure. My cousin is a great example of this. I have known him all my life and cast him as the murderer at the Pool Hall Pummeling event. He is a bit subdued, but I just knew he could take the part and run with it. Boy, was I right. By round two he was shouting accusations, adding his own little one-liners to clues and delivering share information without skipping a beat!
Just because someone might not be perfect for a character, though, doesn't mean they can't come, and it certainly doesn't mean they can't play. These people just need a different role.
So how do you craft the perfect guest list? Why, it's as simple as 1, 2, 3...4.
1. If you haven't yet created a tentative guest list, start there. Write down everyone that comes to your mind without thinking whether they would be good characters or not. You are brainstorming here, so don't pre-judge, just let your pencil (or your fingers on the keyboard) fly.
2. A few people will stand out in your mind right away as those who would make excellent characters. Put a star next to their names or highlight them yellow. You will know how many characters you can assign by checking that game on the Shot In The Dark Mysteries Website or by referring to the second page of the materials you downloaded when you purchased the game. In this example, I will use Murder On The Mound, which requires 11-12 characters.
Thomas Hardy
James Brown *
Betty Boop *
Florence Hendersen*
Tony Tiger
Mary Contrary
Elton John *
Chris Angel *
Bono
Rene Levesque
Harrison Ford
Michelle Miles *
Billie Jean
Barney Rubble
Mi Prima Ballerina *
Gnarls Barkley *
Stevie Nicks
Rose Tyler *
Ewan Mcgregor *
Acheron Hades *
Weird Al Yanovick*
Belinda Stronach
Warrick Brown
Frank Pembleton
Alfred Hitchcock
3. Determine who, although not playing a character, would make a good supplementary player - for example, someone to deliver clues, read the chapter introductions, share the mystery solution etc. (For more ideas on this topic, read the article "Tips for drawing in extra guests...) Mark these people with a different symbol or highlighter colour. These people will shy away a bit from the limelight, but will enjoy being involved. Now my list looks like this:
Thomas Hardy ~
James Brown *
Betty Boop *
Florence Hendersen*
Tony Tiger
Mary Contrary ~
Elton John *
Chris Angel *
Bono
Rene Leveque
Harrison Ford
Michelle Miles *
Billie Jean
Barney Rubble
Mi Prima Ballerina *
Gnarls Barkley *
Stevie Nicks
Rose Tyler *
Ewan Mcgregor *
Acheron Hades *
Weird Al Yanovick*
Belinda Stronach
Warrick Brown ~
Frank Pembleton
Alfred Hitchcock ~
4. Who is left? Obviously the rest of the people on my list are going to at least enjoy watching the murder mystery game unfold and casting an accusation at the end, or they wouldn't be on my list in the first place. These people play an important role, even though any great murder mystery game can occur without them. They are the impartial witnesses who will be able to give excellent insight when it's time to make accusations. We call these people "witnesses" or "detectives", "CSI's" or any additional role that fits in with the plot. In Murder On The Mound - a baseball-themed murder mystery game, these precious others can be cast as fans in the stands. In the Wizard of Oz Murder Mystery, you can designate the others as Munchkins! Regardless, these people will not be relied upon for the game to work, but will still enjoy the theatrics!
Your guest list can make or break your party, but following these simple steps will ensure your party will be a hit, and your zen-like state will remain.
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
4 Elements Of A Fabulous Party
I am often asked what makes a great party great and a horrible party - well, a "Hindenberg". People tend to ask me this with the expectation of one simple, yet brilliant answer that will guarantee party success.
Unfortunately, it's not as simple as cutting the crusts off your little sandwiches to ensure everyone has fun and stays, but there are 4 very distinct elements each great party - elements the bombs have lacked.
While defining these oh-so-important elements of a fabulous party, I focused on two events I recently facilitated. Both took place in similar venues, and both included a custom murder mystery game. One was a raging success and the other was a downright "Hindenberg". The following four elements stood out as the defining factors between the successful party and the bomb. Take these suggestions into consideration and you'll be sure to host a party your guests will enjoy - and won't want to leave!
1. Limit the "No-Fun" to "Fun" Guest Ratio
Of course, no one wants Joe-I-Hate-Fun at their party, but sometimes it's unavoidable. One Joe-I-Hate-Fun is one thing, but if Joe brings Dennis-Doom-And-Gloom, things can turn gray. And no, two negatives don't make a positive! Chances are, at your party two negatives will make five negatives.
When we bring a group together, everyone shares the energy in the room. With enough Joes and Dennises, even the most positive, fun, upbeat person would have trouble having a good time.
Successful Party: At the successful party, out of 17 people there was one Joe-I-Hate-Fun who sat in the corner with his arms crossed and his chin so low it looked like he was wearing a turtleneck. The other 16 were fun, upbeat people who wanted to have fun and were excited to try something new.
"Hindenberg" Party: At the "Hindenberg" party, out of 28 people at least ¾ of the guests were clearly just making an appearance. A better positive to negative ratio would have ensured most people would have had a good time, as at least 1/2 of those ¾ could have been turned around had the atmosphere been more positive.
2. Chose the Correct Theme
A theme can make or break a party - whether you think your party has a theme or not, it does. A theme can be determined simply by what the guests wear - think of a formal dinner party vs. a kegger. Although there will most likely be drinking at both, chances are you will not find someone passed out in your deep freeze at your dinner party. That may seem like an extreme example, but imagine inviting your friends from bowling to a black and white cocktail party, or friends you met at a cocktail party at a backyard pig roast.
Make your theme appropriate for all of your guests, and more will enjoy themselves.
Successful Party: A bunch of fun-loving Occupational Health employees from all over the world breaking out of a conference for an entertaining evening. The custom murder mystery game went down like a barn on fire! They loved it!
"Hindenberg" Party: A group of interior designers gathered for a formal Christmas party, who were surprised with a custom murder mystery party. Getting them up from their seats in their tuxes and high heels was like pulling teeth with this high-brow group, who were only there for the free food and the open bar.
3. Chill Out, Dude and be a relaxed host!
Nothing sets the tone of a party more than its host or hosts. Holding a gathering can be stressful, but if your guests feel your stress when they arrive, rest assured they will become uneasy. Two uneasy people quickly turn into four, then six and the next thing you know you have a venue full of anxious people! Regardless of how you feel before your guests arrive, take five minutes to relax and banish any stressful or uneasy feelings.
Fabulous Party: The hostess was excited and ready to have fun. She dressed up and got fully-immersed in the mystery - and was completely stress-free. Everyone else looked to her and followed suit.
"Hindenberg" Party: The hostess put the party on for her employees, not herself. She planned to be an observer at the party, and left half of her mind back in her office, where all hell was breaking loose. She could not relax, and her employees couldn't wait to slip out the door.
4. Create A Great Ambiance!
Ambiance is so important when you host any sort of gathering. To illustrate, humor me for a moment and picture a large, cool room with all-white furniture. Now picture a country cottage with deep wood and a fire burning in the fireplace. Which place would you rather visit for a party? Most of us would say the country cottage - it's cozier, more inviting and far more welcoming. Chances are you won't be entertaining in a warm country cabin, but you still have control over the ambiance where you entertain; the music, scents and lighting all contribute to the ambiance. Create the correct ambiance and your guests will be more comfortable, stay longer, relax and have a great time!
Fabulous Party: The successful party was held in a smaller room at a classy private club. The room was decorated with Christmas lights (t'was the season) and a Christmas Tree in the corner, soft linens and comfortable chairs. Elevator music played softly in the background - unnoticeable until you listened for it, but so important.
"Hindenberg" Party: This party took place in a large, cold-feeling, utterly silent room with hard chairs and pretentious carpet. No wonder the guests were as stiff as their napkins!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Unfortunately, it's not as simple as cutting the crusts off your little sandwiches to ensure everyone has fun and stays, but there are 4 very distinct elements each great party - elements the bombs have lacked.
While defining these oh-so-important elements of a fabulous party, I focused on two events I recently facilitated. Both took place in similar venues, and both included a custom murder mystery game. One was a raging success and the other was a downright "Hindenberg". The following four elements stood out as the defining factors between the successful party and the bomb. Take these suggestions into consideration and you'll be sure to host a party your guests will enjoy - and won't want to leave!
1. Limit the "No-Fun" to "Fun" Guest Ratio
Of course, no one wants Joe-I-Hate-Fun at their party, but sometimes it's unavoidable. One Joe-I-Hate-Fun is one thing, but if Joe brings Dennis-Doom-And-Gloom, things can turn gray. And no, two negatives don't make a positive! Chances are, at your party two negatives will make five negatives.
When we bring a group together, everyone shares the energy in the room. With enough Joes and Dennises, even the most positive, fun, upbeat person would have trouble having a good time.
Successful Party: At the successful party, out of 17 people there was one Joe-I-Hate-Fun who sat in the corner with his arms crossed and his chin so low it looked like he was wearing a turtleneck. The other 16 were fun, upbeat people who wanted to have fun and were excited to try something new.
"Hindenberg" Party: At the "Hindenberg" party, out of 28 people at least ¾ of the guests were clearly just making an appearance. A better positive to negative ratio would have ensured most people would have had a good time, as at least 1/2 of those ¾ could have been turned around had the atmosphere been more positive.
2. Chose the Correct Theme
A theme can make or break a party - whether you think your party has a theme or not, it does. A theme can be determined simply by what the guests wear - think of a formal dinner party vs. a kegger. Although there will most likely be drinking at both, chances are you will not find someone passed out in your deep freeze at your dinner party. That may seem like an extreme example, but imagine inviting your friends from bowling to a black and white cocktail party, or friends you met at a cocktail party at a backyard pig roast.
Make your theme appropriate for all of your guests, and more will enjoy themselves.
Successful Party: A bunch of fun-loving Occupational Health employees from all over the world breaking out of a conference for an entertaining evening. The custom murder mystery game went down like a barn on fire! They loved it!
"Hindenberg" Party: A group of interior designers gathered for a formal Christmas party, who were surprised with a custom murder mystery party. Getting them up from their seats in their tuxes and high heels was like pulling teeth with this high-brow group, who were only there for the free food and the open bar.
3. Chill Out, Dude and be a relaxed host!
Nothing sets the tone of a party more than its host or hosts. Holding a gathering can be stressful, but if your guests feel your stress when they arrive, rest assured they will become uneasy. Two uneasy people quickly turn into four, then six and the next thing you know you have a venue full of anxious people! Regardless of how you feel before your guests arrive, take five minutes to relax and banish any stressful or uneasy feelings.
Fabulous Party: The hostess was excited and ready to have fun. She dressed up and got fully-immersed in the mystery - and was completely stress-free. Everyone else looked to her and followed suit.
"Hindenberg" Party: The hostess put the party on for her employees, not herself. She planned to be an observer at the party, and left half of her mind back in her office, where all hell was breaking loose. She could not relax, and her employees couldn't wait to slip out the door.
4. Create A Great Ambiance!
Ambiance is so important when you host any sort of gathering. To illustrate, humor me for a moment and picture a large, cool room with all-white furniture. Now picture a country cottage with deep wood and a fire burning in the fireplace. Which place would you rather visit for a party? Most of us would say the country cottage - it's cozier, more inviting and far more welcoming. Chances are you won't be entertaining in a warm country cabin, but you still have control over the ambiance where you entertain; the music, scents and lighting all contribute to the ambiance. Create the correct ambiance and your guests will be more comfortable, stay longer, relax and have a great time!
Fabulous Party: The successful party was held in a smaller room at a classy private club. The room was decorated with Christmas lights (t'was the season) and a Christmas Tree in the corner, soft linens and comfortable chairs. Elevator music played softly in the background - unnoticeable until you listened for it, but so important.
"Hindenberg" Party: This party took place in a large, cold-feeling, utterly silent room with hard chairs and pretentious carpet. No wonder the guests were as stiff as their napkins!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
4 Easy Steps to Begin the Event Planning Process
Event planning can be easy if you follow the correct steps and have the correct frame of mind. Follow these tips from to get started planning an event that will be a raging success!
1. Find the venue
It’s not difficult to find a venue these days. Establishment owners of today realize the benefit to having guaranteed clientele without spending a dime on advertising. Sometimes it can take a couple of tries to find the right venue for your event, but once you do, you’ll know it. The owners or manager will be happy to help you with most aspects, and may even offer extra perks for your attendees. These are places that appreciate events and new clientele, and make the job of planning an event easy and enjoyable. If you are getting bad vibes from a place, move on. Don’t waste your time trying to convince a venue to accommodate you. If it takes too much persuasion, it’s not worth your time or energy – especially when the dessert bar next door would jump at the chance to be involved.
2. Determine your demographic
This can either be the first or the second part of your planning process, depending on the type of event you’re throwing. For example, if you are hosting a fundraising event, you will have identified the demographic ahead of time. When hosting a speed dating event however, you will use the venue you’ve selected to help determine the demographic. In the case of a speed dating event, your demographic will also be the age range of your daters for that particular evening.
3. Set the start time
Based on your venue and your demographic, it’s now time to figure out what time your event will begin. Using the previous two steps, examine the facts. If you’re hosting an event aimed at 60 to 70-year-olds at a curling hall, you will set your start time earlier than if you were organizing a fundraiser held at a local pub, aimed at a 25 to 30-year-old demographic. Also, take into account the trends of your venue; the intimate pub turns into a rowdy dance club after 9pm, when they move the middle tables aside so people can dance. Naturally, in this case, you won’t want your event to go past 9pm!
4. Get the word out
The fourth and quite possibly the most important part of the event planning process is getting the word out, but this can not happen until you’ve nailed down your venue, demographic and event start time. Once all of these details are sorted, you’re ready to promote the heck out of your event! Use free resources online like clubzone.com to list your event if it’s appropriate. Pin up posters on the community board at your local grocery store or Starbucks. Send press releases to the lifestyle section of your local paper, and suggest they write an article about your event. And, of course, ensure you post your event on Craigslist.
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
1. Find the venue
It’s not difficult to find a venue these days. Establishment owners of today realize the benefit to having guaranteed clientele without spending a dime on advertising. Sometimes it can take a couple of tries to find the right venue for your event, but once you do, you’ll know it. The owners or manager will be happy to help you with most aspects, and may even offer extra perks for your attendees. These are places that appreciate events and new clientele, and make the job of planning an event easy and enjoyable. If you are getting bad vibes from a place, move on. Don’t waste your time trying to convince a venue to accommodate you. If it takes too much persuasion, it’s not worth your time or energy – especially when the dessert bar next door would jump at the chance to be involved.
2. Determine your demographic
This can either be the first or the second part of your planning process, depending on the type of event you’re throwing. For example, if you are hosting a fundraising event, you will have identified the demographic ahead of time. When hosting a speed dating event however, you will use the venue you’ve selected to help determine the demographic. In the case of a speed dating event, your demographic will also be the age range of your daters for that particular evening.
3. Set the start time
Based on your venue and your demographic, it’s now time to figure out what time your event will begin. Using the previous two steps, examine the facts. If you’re hosting an event aimed at 60 to 70-year-olds at a curling hall, you will set your start time earlier than if you were organizing a fundraiser held at a local pub, aimed at a 25 to 30-year-old demographic. Also, take into account the trends of your venue; the intimate pub turns into a rowdy dance club after 9pm, when they move the middle tables aside so people can dance. Naturally, in this case, you won’t want your event to go past 9pm!
4. Get the word out
The fourth and quite possibly the most important part of the event planning process is getting the word out, but this can not happen until you’ve nailed down your venue, demographic and event start time. Once all of these details are sorted, you’re ready to promote the heck out of your event! Use free resources online like clubzone.com to list your event if it’s appropriate. Pin up posters on the community board at your local grocery store or Starbucks. Send press releases to the lifestyle section of your local paper, and suggest they write an article about your event. And, of course, ensure you post your event on Craigslist.
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
The Art of the Introduction
Most of us think nothing of introducing two people who don't know one another. "Ringo, this is Cookie. Cookie - Ringo." That's it, right? Actually, there is an entire art to the making a proper introduction that only the savviest of hosts know.
A proper introduction can have a great effect on those you are introducing - it can spark conversation and make both of them feel comfortable, ensuring they have a better time and you, the host, receive the party fame you deserve! Your guests probably won't notice your technique, but they will notice how great they feel, and look upon you as the perfect host!
When your guest arrives, ensure that you introduce them to one other person, or to a group of two or three people before you leave them to greet other guests. Avoid walking your newly-arrived guest to a large group and saying "Cookie, this is everyone!" Chances are this will make your new guest feel uncomfortable, and will leave the introductions up to them. If your guests are all gathered in a big group, pick one person to pull aside to introduce to your new arrival. Choose someone who either has something in common with your recently-arrived guest or a co-conspirator, who you've asked ahead of time to help you with the introductions.
Now you have two people you are about to introduce. Did you know there is a proper order in which you should make your introduction? Yes indeed! The rules are as follows:
Most of us think nothing of introducing two people who don't know one another. "Ringo, this is Cookie. Cookie - Ringo." That's it, right? Actually, there is an entire art to the making a proper introduction that only the savviest of hosts know.
A proper introduction can have a great effect on those you are introducing - it can spark conversation and make both of them feel comfortable, ensuring they have a better time and you, the host, receive the party fame you deserve! Your guests probably won't notice your technique, but they will notice how great they feel, and look upon you as the perfect host!
When your guest arrives, ensure that you introduce them to one other person, or to a group of two or three people before you leave them to greet other guests. Avoid walking your newly-arrived guest to a large group and saying "Cookie, this is everyone!" Chances are this will make your new guest feel uncomfortable, and will leave the introductions up to them. If your guests are all gathered in a big group, pick one person to pull aside to introduce to your new arrival. Choose someone who either has something in common with your recently-arrived guest or a co-conspirator, who you've asked ahead of time to help you with the introductions.
Now you have two people you are about to introduce. Did you know there is a proper order in which you should make your introduction? Yes indeed! The rules are as follows:
Men Meet The Women
Introduce the man to the woman. For example, "Cookie Masterson, I would like you to meet Ringo Clown." Leave it at that - don't continue with "Ringo, this is Cookie". Add a thoughtful detail, such as "Cookie is an avid dessert chef. Ringo eats a lot of pastry".
Age Before Beauty
Let's say you want Cookie to meet your older friend, Stacie. Because Stacie is older than Cookie, you should introduce Cookie to Stacie. For example, "Stacie Chalmers, may I introduce my roommate from college, Cookie Masterson." Your thoughtful detail could be "Cookie majored in Horse Whispering in college. Stacie is an animal intuit."
Prominence Leads
In our politically-correct day in age, the following introductory rule may be a bit of a touchy subject, but in situations where tact is paramount, make sure you abide by this guideline. Introduce the less-prominent person to the more-prominent person. For example, "Judge Steward, meet Cookie Masterson".
A Family Affair
You should always introduce family members to other guests, regardless of their age, status or gender. For example; "Cookie, I would like you to meet my Aunt Gertrude."
This may seem like a lot to remember, but to keep it easy, simply remember this: The person receiving the introduction will most likely be better known. It would go without saying that Cookie would already know The Queen of England. You would not need to say "Cookie, this is The Queen of England", but would say, "Your Majesty, this is Cookie Masterson. Use the same idea when introducing those in your circle.
A final closing note: Always use last names as well as first names when you can. Follow these guidelines for introductions and you'll be sure to create the comforting environment that will keep your guests at your party and get you the rave reviews you crave!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
A proper introduction can have a great effect on those you are introducing - it can spark conversation and make both of them feel comfortable, ensuring they have a better time and you, the host, receive the party fame you deserve! Your guests probably won't notice your technique, but they will notice how great they feel, and look upon you as the perfect host!
When your guest arrives, ensure that you introduce them to one other person, or to a group of two or three people before you leave them to greet other guests. Avoid walking your newly-arrived guest to a large group and saying "Cookie, this is everyone!" Chances are this will make your new guest feel uncomfortable, and will leave the introductions up to them. If your guests are all gathered in a big group, pick one person to pull aside to introduce to your new arrival. Choose someone who either has something in common with your recently-arrived guest or a co-conspirator, who you've asked ahead of time to help you with the introductions.
Now you have two people you are about to introduce. Did you know there is a proper order in which you should make your introduction? Yes indeed! The rules are as follows:
Most of us think nothing of introducing two people who don't know one another. "Ringo, this is Cookie. Cookie - Ringo." That's it, right? Actually, there is an entire art to the making a proper introduction that only the savviest of hosts know.
A proper introduction can have a great effect on those you are introducing - it can spark conversation and make both of them feel comfortable, ensuring they have a better time and you, the host, receive the party fame you deserve! Your guests probably won't notice your technique, but they will notice how great they feel, and look upon you as the perfect host!
When your guest arrives, ensure that you introduce them to one other person, or to a group of two or three people before you leave them to greet other guests. Avoid walking your newly-arrived guest to a large group and saying "Cookie, this is everyone!" Chances are this will make your new guest feel uncomfortable, and will leave the introductions up to them. If your guests are all gathered in a big group, pick one person to pull aside to introduce to your new arrival. Choose someone who either has something in common with your recently-arrived guest or a co-conspirator, who you've asked ahead of time to help you with the introductions.
Now you have two people you are about to introduce. Did you know there is a proper order in which you should make your introduction? Yes indeed! The rules are as follows:
Men Meet The Women
Introduce the man to the woman. For example, "Cookie Masterson, I would like you to meet Ringo Clown." Leave it at that - don't continue with "Ringo, this is Cookie". Add a thoughtful detail, such as "Cookie is an avid dessert chef. Ringo eats a lot of pastry".
Age Before Beauty
Let's say you want Cookie to meet your older friend, Stacie. Because Stacie is older than Cookie, you should introduce Cookie to Stacie. For example, "Stacie Chalmers, may I introduce my roommate from college, Cookie Masterson." Your thoughtful detail could be "Cookie majored in Horse Whispering in college. Stacie is an animal intuit."
Prominence Leads
In our politically-correct day in age, the following introductory rule may be a bit of a touchy subject, but in situations where tact is paramount, make sure you abide by this guideline. Introduce the less-prominent person to the more-prominent person. For example, "Judge Steward, meet Cookie Masterson".
A Family Affair
You should always introduce family members to other guests, regardless of their age, status or gender. For example; "Cookie, I would like you to meet my Aunt Gertrude."
This may seem like a lot to remember, but to keep it easy, simply remember this: The person receiving the introduction will most likely be better known. It would go without saying that Cookie would already know The Queen of England. You would not need to say "Cookie, this is The Queen of England", but would say, "Your Majesty, this is Cookie Masterson. Use the same idea when introducing those in your circle.
A final closing note: Always use last names as well as first names when you can. Follow these guidelines for introductions and you'll be sure to create the comforting environment that will keep your guests at your party and get you the rave reviews you crave!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Monday, July 7, 2008
When Good Guests Go Bad Part 6: The Destructo-Guest
This is the final article in our six-part series entitled, "When Good Guests Go Bad". Today we look at the "Destructo-Guest".
If you've never had to deal with a destructo-guest, you're lucky! The destructo-guest is careless in their everyday life, and brings that carelessness into your home when you entertain. This guest moves around a bit like a hurricane, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. When one first looks at the destructo-guest, it's hard to determine exactly what they do to cause wine spills and heirloom breakages - some people would define the destructo-guest as "clutzy" or "unlucky", but it all comes down to slight to severe carelessness. So, what can we, as polite hosts on the run, do about the destructo-guest while keeping our grace and poise (not to mention our tempers!)?
Here are a few ideas to keep your valuables safe when the destructo-guest sweeps through your party.
1) Don't Invite Them
As with most of our Good Guests Gone Bad, one way to avoid the issue is by simply not inviting the destructo-guest. In many cases, especially family settings, this is not possible. If you can't get out of having them there, though, read on!
2) Don't waste your breath
Unlike the rest of our Good Guests Gone Bad, a simple word usually won't straighten out the destructo-guest. This is because their problem stems from carelessness to begin with, and although they may seem to heed your words, their habit is so engrained it can not be changed overnight. Talking to the destructo-guest will only hurt their feelings, and probably won't solve the problem anyhow. Instead, you need to prepare!
3) Hide the valuables
Yes, it is one of the best ways that you can protect the things you really love from your hurricane guest. Put them in an off-limits room or high up on a shelf where they can not be touched.
4) Insist on taking the destructo-guest's jacket or sweater
A jacket or large sweater is the destructo-guest's worst accomplice! An off-balance turn with baggy clothes mean your baby orchids are flying off the edge of the table. Insist if they at first decline, and if that doesn't work, turn the heat up until they get warm enough to have to take their sweater off! (Then turn it back down for the comfort of your other guests).
5) Employ your Crisis Companion
We talk a lot about using your crisis companion, and this is a perfect moment to put them to good use. Your crisis companion knows the score, and is with you on every page of your party. This could be a spouse or a good friend you trust not to divulge your secret hosting tips to anyone else. Inform your CC that the destructo-guest will be attending, and to keep an eye on them. If they are reaching out for something expensive or about to step on your dog, they can intervene.
6) Get them seated immediately
Once you greet the destructo-guest at the door, try to get them seated as soon as you can. The less the destructo-guest moves around, the better chance your china has of making it through the evening! Invite another guest who shares their interests to come and sit with the two of you. Once their conversation is running, politely excuse yourself. If the destructo-guest gets up, repeat the procedure until they are so engrossed in conversation that they have no desire to get up and move around. You can only do this for so long, but with the destructo-guest, the less they move around, the better.
7) Keep your cool
If the destructo-guest does happen to back into your centuries old china cabinet, bumping your great, great, great grandmother's tea kettle, the tea set and your antique crystal onto the hardwood floor, try to keep your cool. The personality of the destructo-guest makes it easy to get angry with them, and they will probably be too mortified to defend themselves. If you are ready to blow, take a minute and let your CC handle damage control.
This brings our 6-part series, "When Good Guests Go Bad" to an end. If you have missed any of the series, simply send an email to mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com to receive the entire series in PDF format for free!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
When Good Guests Go Bad Part 5: The Can't Be Wrong
Welcome to the second-last article in our six-part series on "When Good Guests Go Bad." Unfortunately, at every gathering there always seems to be one person who has an opinion on everything, and even when they're wrong they're right! These are the kind of guests who bring up topics just to argue them, and if there is nothing to argue they will conjur something out of thin air. Not only do they create uncomfortable situations at every turn, they also tend to offend people, or at the very least make your other guests feel uncomfortable.
A prime example of The Can't Be Wrong scenario comes from a good friend of mine, who entertains with her family often. Her brother's wife and her husband are both very opinionated people. The like rival sports teams, have completely opposite political views on everything from mayoral elections to environmental issues - the sister-in-law has even expressed a hatred toward the family's small home town. Tricky!
The sad truth is that not everyone has the common ability to sense when a topic of conversation is about to tread on dangerous ground, or when they are discussing something with more meaning than mere conversation to the other person in the conversation. This does not mean the "Can't Be Wrong" is a bad person - in fact, it's probably the opposite - they are usually very caring and nice, except when their conversations stumble onto certain topics. The most common topics for The Can't Be Wrong to bring up, and relentlessly continue are:
-Politics
-Religion
-Sports
-Travel
-Business/Investing
And you can bet that their position will not waiver when faced with a different opinion. With these topics off-limits, how can one possibly have a conversation with The Can't Be Wrong? The truth is, after a time, most stop trying, but that usually does not stop The Can't Be Wrong. Sadly, our more laid-back guests will usually not step up and tell the Can't Be Wrong how wrong they are - they will usually find an excuse to leave, or decline the next invitation offered. How can we Hosts On The Run deal with someone like The Can't-Be-Wrong?
1. Don't Invite Them
Of course, this is the most ideal answer in the first place. But what if the Can't Be Wrong is the spouse of a close friend or loved one, or your own family?
2. Keep an ear peeled and change the subject frequently
Usually, the Can't Be Wrong will begin to show his true colors when in a one-on-one conversation. Keep an eye on the Can't Be Wrong, and after about 3 minutes of conversation with one of your guests, go join them. Offer drinks, or sit down and change the subject before it gets heated and feelings get hurt.
3. Assign your crisis companion to "babysit"
Oh, it's sad but true, sometimes you must have someone follow the Can't Be Wrong around just to make sure that the conversations don't trip into dangerous territory.
4. Discuss the issue with a mutual third party
Employing a mutual family member or friend to "drop a hint" to the Can't Be Wrong to cool it when things get steamy, or even after your party all together is another way to deal with this difficult issue. Chances are you already know who could speak to the Can't Be Wrong without it COMING OUT all wrong.
5. Speak to the Can't Be Wrong yourself
Before the party, call the Can't Be Wrong and explain to them that you understand their strong views and opinions are part of their personality, but you would prefer if, for the span of your get-together, they avoid the topics that seem to get blood boiling. This could end one of two ways. First, the Can't Be Wrong will take your wishes to heart and be a positively delightful guest. OR, they could get totally offended and decide not to come all together. Either way, you have done everything you can.
6. If none of these work and you're still obligated to have The Can't Be Wrong at your gathering, give your other guests a heads-up about the Can't Be Wrong so they won't take it personally when the Can't Be Wrong insults their mother.
The Can't Be Wrong is seriously tricky, but if you have to deal with them, good luck! There's only one Guest Gone Wrong left to explore - The Destructo-Guest, and we'll look at this hurricane of a personality in the next issue of Host On The Run!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
When Good Guests Go Bad Part 4: The Never-Ending Guest
Sometimes, Hosts On The Run can do too good a job of entertaining - so good, in fact, that some people don't ever want to leave! In this issue, number 4 in our 6-part series entitled, "When Good Guests Go Bad", we discuss the "Never-Ending Guest", also known as the guest who just doesn't know when to leave.Whenever I think of The Never-Ending Guest, I'm reminded of the Seinfeld episode when George leaves Elaine and Jerry stranded at a house in Long Island. They had to wait there until Kramer, who got lost, arrived to take them home. How awkward it was, as they sat in the living room, the host and hostess cleaning up in the kitchen, suggesting it was time for them to call a taxi.
Okay, Jerry and Elaine were reluctant to still be there, but when our guests don't know when to leave it can be just as awkward. The truth is, not everyone has a sense of when to leave. Although most of us can feel when the party is winding down and it's time to leave, some others just don't get it. There are specific signals you can give when it's time for your guests to leave. Things such as not re-starting the music, beginning post-party clean up, and discussing the time are all great little hints Hosts On The Run can use to indicate that it's time to leave. Some people just don't get it, though, and these people require much stronger hints, like being told right out that it's time to leave.
Okay, Jerry and Elaine were reluctant to still be there, but when our guests don't know when to leave it can be just as awkward. The truth is, not everyone has a sense of when to leave. Although most of us can feel when the party is winding down and it's time to leave, some others just don't get it. There are specific signals you can give when it's time for your guests to leave. Things such as not re-starting the music, beginning post-party clean up, and discussing the time are all great little hints Hosts On The Run can use to indicate that it's time to leave. Some people just don't get it, though, and these people require much stronger hints, like being told right out that it's time to leave.
Signal 1: Bring the jackets into an area where they are easily accessible to your guest.
Signal 2: Offer to call them a taxi or ask if you can start their vehicle on a cold night. Usually you won't have to go this far, as seeing others start to leave will tell the others they should follow suit.
Signal 3: Put them to work. Go ahead and ask them to help you clean up in the kitchen! One of two things will happen - either they will oblige, in which case you have an extra hand cleaning up, or they will push your pets out of the way to get to the door and dodge the dirty dishes.
But what if the guest has their car running, their jacket out and your kitchen is spotless? Well, this will be a very rare situation, but simply saying, "Well, I'm exhausted, I'm heading to bed" should do the trick. You're still composed and graceful, and no one can ever accuse you of being a rude host. If you wake up and that person is on your couch, however, you may want to consider not inviting him to your next get-together.Our six-part series is coming to a close, but we've still got two great "Guests Gone Bad" in store for you, including "The Can't-Be-Wrong" and "The Destructo-Guest", which we will explore in our next issues! Stay tuned!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
When Good Guests Go Bad Part 3: The Lush!
When Good Guests Go Bad Part 3: The Lush!
As hosts, we want people to drink and be merry. But when Mary drinks too much, the party can take a turn for the worse. In this article, the third in our 6-part series entitled, "When Good Guests Go Bad", we look at how to properly deal with "The Lush". Just like our previous two Good Guests Gone Bad articles (The No-Show and the Surprise-Show), a drunken guest situation can begin one of two ways. Either Mary gets drunk and ends up with a lampshade on her head at most parties, or Mary rarely drinks too much, and her drunken stupor is a complete one-off. Either way, the situation must be handled with grace and composure.
First and foremost, make sure that alcohol is not easily accessible by guests. The kitchen is a good place to keep drink ingredients, as the kitchen is a "taboo" area by default. With the alcohol in the kitchen, you can keep an eye on who is drinking what. If you're too busy, as most of us Hosts On The Run are, select a responsible bartender from your guests or, depending on your budget, hire a professional bartender to keep a drink in your guests' hands without letting them get smashed.
Even the most organized, awesome Hosts On The Run can miss the start of a sousing. If this happens, try to nip the problem in the bud before it gets out of hand. Offer Mary some coffee and some bread or crackers to ward off drunkness, and slow down the frequency of her drink refills. Get side-tracked en route to the bar, and when you finally make it there, opt for more mixer, less booze. If you realize too late that Mary has hit the sauce, there are a few things you can still do to difuse the situation. Again, offer coffee and food to help her sober up, but make sure you offer the coffee and snacks to everyone, so it does not appear that you are singling her out. If Mary has come with friends or a spouse, get in league with them to help you keep Mary from embarassing herself. Mary could be a fun drunk or a surly drunk - unless you've seen her in this situation before, it can be hard to tell. It's best to keep the atmosphere fun and avoid controversial discussions, just in case.
Most importantly, make sure Mary does NOT drive home. Have her spouse or friends drive instead, call her a cab or employ a service like Keys Please, who will drive you in your car home from the party, avoiding the awkward "I need my car tomorrow" situation. If all else fails, let Mary spend the night. It's better she, and everyone else who may cross her path, live through the night while she crashes on your couch.In our next issue we'll discuss another "Guest Gone Bad", and that's The Never-Ending Guest!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
As hosts, we want people to drink and be merry. But when Mary drinks too much, the party can take a turn for the worse. In this article, the third in our 6-part series entitled, "When Good Guests Go Bad", we look at how to properly deal with "The Lush". Just like our previous two Good Guests Gone Bad articles (The No-Show and the Surprise-Show), a drunken guest situation can begin one of two ways. Either Mary gets drunk and ends up with a lampshade on her head at most parties, or Mary rarely drinks too much, and her drunken stupor is a complete one-off. Either way, the situation must be handled with grace and composure.
First and foremost, make sure that alcohol is not easily accessible by guests. The kitchen is a good place to keep drink ingredients, as the kitchen is a "taboo" area by default. With the alcohol in the kitchen, you can keep an eye on who is drinking what. If you're too busy, as most of us Hosts On The Run are, select a responsible bartender from your guests or, depending on your budget, hire a professional bartender to keep a drink in your guests' hands without letting them get smashed.
Even the most organized, awesome Hosts On The Run can miss the start of a sousing. If this happens, try to nip the problem in the bud before it gets out of hand. Offer Mary some coffee and some bread or crackers to ward off drunkness, and slow down the frequency of her drink refills. Get side-tracked en route to the bar, and when you finally make it there, opt for more mixer, less booze. If you realize too late that Mary has hit the sauce, there are a few things you can still do to difuse the situation. Again, offer coffee and food to help her sober up, but make sure you offer the coffee and snacks to everyone, so it does not appear that you are singling her out. If Mary has come with friends or a spouse, get in league with them to help you keep Mary from embarassing herself. Mary could be a fun drunk or a surly drunk - unless you've seen her in this situation before, it can be hard to tell. It's best to keep the atmosphere fun and avoid controversial discussions, just in case.
Most importantly, make sure Mary does NOT drive home. Have her spouse or friends drive instead, call her a cab or employ a service like Keys Please, who will drive you in your car home from the party, avoiding the awkward "I need my car tomorrow" situation. If all else fails, let Mary spend the night. It's better she, and everyone else who may cross her path, live through the night while she crashes on your couch.In our next issue we'll discuss another "Guest Gone Bad", and that's The Never-Ending Guest!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
When Good Guests Go Bad Part 2: The Surprise-Show
In this world there are hosts and then everyone else. Hosts make a boring weekend exciting and put the "special" in "Special Occasion". It's not an easy job, and it doesn't get any easier when guests aren't courteous. In part 2 of our 6-part series entitled, "When Good Guests Go Bad", we explore "The Surprise-Show", also known as "The Unexpected Guest", and how to deal with this person while keeping your cool.
The "Surprise-Show" or "Unexpected Guest" happens when a guest you invited did not RSVP but shows up anyhow. It can also occur when someone who wasn't invited at all shows up on the evening of the party with an invited guest (usually without a host gift! The nerve!). Either way, this unexpected arrival must be met with grace and composure - you can beat up your pillow to let your frustration later. The Surprise-Show could sound like this:
Host On The Run: "Hi Shannon, I'm so glad you could make it! And - oh, I see you brought a... friend!"
Shannon: "Yes, this is my cousin, Petrie, in town from Yemen. I hope you don't mind that I brought him!"
Host On The Run: sotto voce "A little head's up would have been nice"
Shannon: "Pardon?"
Host On The Run: "Nothing! Hello Petrie, so nice to meet you! Can I take your coat? I'll just... er... go make some changes in the kitchen!"
Meet the "Surprise-Show" with a drink at the door, and welcome them, just as you would an invited guest, or one who RSVP'd. Introduce the guest to the others at the party and once everyone is chatting comfortably you can perform damage control.
As a born-klutz, there is always a chance that one of my chicken breasts will end up on my kitchen floor, which is why I always recommend having too much food at a party, especially when dinner is involved. But let's say you only have enough prime rib for the guests who RSVP - then what? Portion the food differently to accommodate the new person. That could include cutting all steaks in half, or serving your risotto with a smaller spoon to make it appear as though your guests are receiving more than they are.
Another way to make sure your guests don't go hungry because of a surprise show is to serve salad with the meal, and make sure their bowls are always full. Most people will alternate between the main course and the side-salad. The full-bowl will distract attention from the smaller portion on their plate while ensuring they are satisfied when their main course is devoured.
In the case of a murder mystery game, a surprise guest could be dealt with in a few ways. First, instead of using your mp3 files, have the extra guest narrate the game with the transcription in your Game Materials. If you received bonus characters in your Game Freebies, you can also pull the extra guest into the game that way, although of course they won't have the same involvement as the rest of the characters. Still, you can encourage the extra guest to interrogate, take notes and get into the game like the rest of your guests.
When faced with a Surprise-Show, remember they may also be feeling uncomfortable so make sure you do everything you can to ensure they feel at home. A quick word with the Surprise-Show or the guest who brought the Surprise-Show can prevent surprises at your next get-together.
In part 3 in our 6-part series entitled, "When Good Guests Go Bad", we discuss how to deal with "The Lush"! Stay tuned - it should be fun!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
The "Surprise-Show" or "Unexpected Guest" happens when a guest you invited did not RSVP but shows up anyhow. It can also occur when someone who wasn't invited at all shows up on the evening of the party with an invited guest (usually without a host gift! The nerve!). Either way, this unexpected arrival must be met with grace and composure - you can beat up your pillow to let your frustration later. The Surprise-Show could sound like this:
Host On The Run: "Hi Shannon, I'm so glad you could make it! And - oh, I see you brought a... friend!"
Shannon: "Yes, this is my cousin, Petrie, in town from Yemen. I hope you don't mind that I brought him!"
Host On The Run: sotto voce "A little head's up would have been nice"
Shannon: "Pardon?"
Host On The Run: "Nothing! Hello Petrie, so nice to meet you! Can I take your coat? I'll just... er... go make some changes in the kitchen!"
Meet the "Surprise-Show" with a drink at the door, and welcome them, just as you would an invited guest, or one who RSVP'd. Introduce the guest to the others at the party and once everyone is chatting comfortably you can perform damage control.
As a born-klutz, there is always a chance that one of my chicken breasts will end up on my kitchen floor, which is why I always recommend having too much food at a party, especially when dinner is involved. But let's say you only have enough prime rib for the guests who RSVP - then what? Portion the food differently to accommodate the new person. That could include cutting all steaks in half, or serving your risotto with a smaller spoon to make it appear as though your guests are receiving more than they are.
Another way to make sure your guests don't go hungry because of a surprise show is to serve salad with the meal, and make sure their bowls are always full. Most people will alternate between the main course and the side-salad. The full-bowl will distract attention from the smaller portion on their plate while ensuring they are satisfied when their main course is devoured.
In the case of a murder mystery game, a surprise guest could be dealt with in a few ways. First, instead of using your mp3 files, have the extra guest narrate the game with the transcription in your Game Materials. If you received bonus characters in your Game Freebies, you can also pull the extra guest into the game that way, although of course they won't have the same involvement as the rest of the characters. Still, you can encourage the extra guest to interrogate, take notes and get into the game like the rest of your guests.
When faced with a Surprise-Show, remember they may also be feeling uncomfortable so make sure you do everything you can to ensure they feel at home. A quick word with the Surprise-Show or the guest who brought the Surprise-Show can prevent surprises at your next get-together.
In part 3 in our 6-part series entitled, "When Good Guests Go Bad", we discuss how to deal with "The Lush"! Stay tuned - it should be fun!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
When Good Guests Go Bad Part 1: The No-Show
When Good Guests Go Bad Part 1: The No-Show
As hosts, we can control most everything about our party like the food, the music and the atmosphere, but the one thing we can't control is the behavior of our guests. With the right invitation list, this could prove disastrous for a host with even the best intentions. How we, as Hosts On The Run, deal with these tricky situations is very important There are six identifiable types of "Good Guests Gone Bad", and we will cover each one, along with what to do with them, in our 6-part series entitled: "When Good Guests Go Bad".
In this issue we take a look at The No-Show.
In Shot In The Dark Mysteries' 2007 survey of our loyal ezine subscribers, you told us that the no-show guest is the biggest stress factor in hosting a party. In fact, most who listed the no-show guest as a stress also credited this non-committal entity with being the reason they do not host parties at all!
The no-show guest scenario happens one of two ways, the first beginning with an RSVP that they will make it and ending with a strategically-timed phone call. The conversation could continue the following way:
ring ring
Host On The Run: "Hello?"
No Show Guest: "Hello Host On The Run. About tonight - unfortunately I will not be able to make it. Tomorrow morning I have to help my grandmother move her living room furniture to the old folks home, and I can't find my watch. Without my watch, I won't know what time I need to leave tonight, so I need to stay close to home so I know what time it is."
Host On The Run: "You know, we have clocks here - wait, there's the door, the other guests are arriving, just hold on-"
No Show Guest: "I see you're busy. I'll talk to you next week!"
It's not necessarily that No Show Guest has something better to do. In fact, most no-shows are well-intentioned when they RSVP, but at the last second just don't feel like going out.
Fortunately, there are three very effective ways to deal with a potential no-show guest.
Don't Invite Them
The first way is to not invite them at all. Sure, you want them there, but in the case of a murder mystery game, when you need your guests to be reliable for the game to work properly, they can't be trusted. The side-benefit to this strategy is that No-Show may realize they no longer receive invitations and realize the reason - their unreliability.
Bribe Them With Shiny Gifts
The second way to get these guests to show up is with bribery. This may sound ridiculous, but it's incredibly effective. As you are inviting them, mention that on the evening of the party you will give them their birthday or Christmas present. Alternatively, you could have party favors for your entire guest list, and make sure that you make mention of this upon inviting the no-show.
Confront Them
The third method is to speak with the no-show ahead of time and explain to them that you would love to invite the No Show-er, but you need them to show up to keep your murder mystery game balanced, the dinner table in line or the Christmas gift exchange numbers even. Usually, the no-show's intentions are not mean-spirited and an expression of how truly important they are to the dynamic of the party will make them realize they need to make the gathering a priority.
There are five more "Good Guests Gone Bad" in our 6-part series, including The Surprise Show, The Lush, The Never-Ending Guest, The Can't-Be-Wrong and The Destructo-Guest, and Shot In The Dark Mysteries has solutions for each and every one of them!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
As hosts, we can control most everything about our party like the food, the music and the atmosphere, but the one thing we can't control is the behavior of our guests. With the right invitation list, this could prove disastrous for a host with even the best intentions. How we, as Hosts On The Run, deal with these tricky situations is very important There are six identifiable types of "Good Guests Gone Bad", and we will cover each one, along with what to do with them, in our 6-part series entitled: "When Good Guests Go Bad".
In this issue we take a look at The No-Show.
In Shot In The Dark Mysteries' 2007 survey of our loyal ezine subscribers, you told us that the no-show guest is the biggest stress factor in hosting a party. In fact, most who listed the no-show guest as a stress also credited this non-committal entity with being the reason they do not host parties at all!
The no-show guest scenario happens one of two ways, the first beginning with an RSVP that they will make it and ending with a strategically-timed phone call. The conversation could continue the following way:
ring ring
Host On The Run: "Hello?"
No Show Guest: "Hello Host On The Run. About tonight - unfortunately I will not be able to make it. Tomorrow morning I have to help my grandmother move her living room furniture to the old folks home, and I can't find my watch. Without my watch, I won't know what time I need to leave tonight, so I need to stay close to home so I know what time it is."
Host On The Run: "You know, we have clocks here - wait, there's the door, the other guests are arriving, just hold on-"
No Show Guest: "I see you're busy. I'll talk to you next week!"
It's not necessarily that No Show Guest has something better to do. In fact, most no-shows are well-intentioned when they RSVP, but at the last second just don't feel like going out.
Fortunately, there are three very effective ways to deal with a potential no-show guest.
Don't Invite Them
The first way is to not invite them at all. Sure, you want them there, but in the case of a murder mystery game, when you need your guests to be reliable for the game to work properly, they can't be trusted. The side-benefit to this strategy is that No-Show may realize they no longer receive invitations and realize the reason - their unreliability.
Bribe Them With Shiny Gifts
The second way to get these guests to show up is with bribery. This may sound ridiculous, but it's incredibly effective. As you are inviting them, mention that on the evening of the party you will give them their birthday or Christmas present. Alternatively, you could have party favors for your entire guest list, and make sure that you make mention of this upon inviting the no-show.
Confront Them
The third method is to speak with the no-show ahead of time and explain to them that you would love to invite the No Show-er, but you need them to show up to keep your murder mystery game balanced, the dinner table in line or the Christmas gift exchange numbers even. Usually, the no-show's intentions are not mean-spirited and an expression of how truly important they are to the dynamic of the party will make them realize they need to make the gathering a priority.
There are five more "Good Guests Gone Bad" in our 6-part series, including The Surprise Show, The Lush, The Never-Ending Guest, The Can't-Be-Wrong and The Destructo-Guest, and Shot In The Dark Mysteries has solutions for each and every one of them!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
4 Elements of a Fabulous Party
by Leigh Clements
I am often asked what makes a great party great and a horrible party - well, a “Hindenberg”. People tend to ask me this with the expectation of one simple, yet brilliant answer that will guarantee party success.
Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as cutting the crusts off your little sandwiches to ensure everyone has fun and stays, but there are 4 very distinct elements each great party - elements the bombs have lacked.
While defining these oh-so-important elements of a fabulous party, I focused on two events I recently facilitated. Both took place in similar venues, and both included a custom murder mystery game. One was a raging success and the other was a downright “Hindenberg”. The following four elements stood out as the defining factors between the successful party and the bomb. Take these suggestions into consideration and you’ll be sure to host a party your guests will enjoy - and won’t want to leave!
1. Limit the “No-Fun” to “Fun” Guest Ratio
Of course, no one wants Joe-I-Hate-Fun at their party, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. One Joe-I-Hate-Fun is one thing, but if Joe brings Dennis-Doom-And-Gloom, things can turn gray. And no, two negatives don’t make a positive! Chances are, at your party two negatives will make five negatives.
When we bring a group together, everyone shares the energy in the room. With enough Joes and Dennises, even the most positive, fun, upbeat person would have trouble having a good time.
Successful Party: At the successful party, out of 17 people there was one Joe-I-Hate-Fun who sat in the corner with his arms crossed and his chin so low it looked like he was wearing a turtleneck. The other 16 were fun, upbeat people who wanted to have fun and were excited to try something new.
“Hindenberg” Party: At the “Hindenberg” party, out of 28 people at least ¾ of the guests were clearly just making an appearance. A better positive to negative ratio would have ensured most people would have had a good time, as at least 1/2 of those ¾ could have been turned around had the atmosphere been more positive.
2. Choose the Correct Theme
A theme can make or break a party - whether you think your party has a theme or not, it does. A theme can be determined simply by what the guests wear - think of a formal dinner party vs. a kegger. Although there will most likely be drinking at both, chances are you will not find someone passed out in your deep freeze at your dinner party. That may seem like an extreme example, but imagine inviting your friends from bowling to a black and white cocktail party, or friends you met at a cocktail party at a backyard pig roast.
Make your theme appropriate for all of your guests, and more will enjoy themselves.
Successful Party: A bunch of fun-loving Occupational Health employees from all over the world breaking out of a conference for an entertaining evening. The custom murder mystery game went down like a barn on fire! They loved it!
“Hindenberg” Party: A group of interior designers gathered for a formal Christmas party, who were surprised with a custom murder mystery party. Getting them up from their seats in their tuxes and high heels was like pulling teeth with this high-brow group, who were only there for the free food and the open bar.
3. Chill Out, Dude and be a relaxed host!
Nothing sets the tone of a party more than its host or hosts. Holding a gathering can be stressful, but if your guests feel your stress when they arrive, rest assured they will become uneasy. Two uneasy people quickly turn into four, then six and the next thing you know you have a venue full of anxious people! Regardless of how you feel before your guests arrive, take five minutes to relax and banish any stressful or uneasy feelings.
Fabulous Party: The hostess was excited and ready to have fun. She dressed up and got fully-immersed in the mystery - and was completely stress-free. Everyone else looked to her and followed suit.
“Hindenberg” Party: The hostess put the party on for her employees, not herself. She planned to be an observer at the party, and left half of her mind back in her office, where all hell was breaking loose. She could not relax, and her employees couldn’t wait to slip out the door.
4. Create A Great Ambiance!
Ambiance is so important when you host any sort of gathering. To illustrate, humor me for a moment and picture a large, cool room with all-white furniture. Now picture a country cottage with deep wood and a fire burning in the fireplace. Which place would you rather visit for a party? Most of us would say the country cottage - it’s cozier, more inviting and far more welcoming. Chances are you won’t be entertaining in a warm country cabin, but you still have control over the ambiance where you entertain; the music, scents and lighting all contribute to the ambiance. Create the correct ambiance and your guests will be more comfortable, stay longer, relax and have a great time!
Fabulous Party: The successful party was held in a smaller room at a classy private club. The room was decorated with Christmas lights (t’was the season) and a Christmas Tree in the corner, soft linens and comfortable chairs. Elevator music played softly in the background - unnoticeable until you listened for it, but so important.
“Hindenberg” Party: This party took place in a large, cold-feeling, utterly silent room with hard chairs and pretentious carpet. No wonder the guests were as stiff as their napkins!
Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
