When Good Guests Go Bad Part 5: The Can't Be Wrong

Welcome to the second-last article in our six-part series on "When Good Guests Go Bad." Unfortunately, at every gathering there always seems to be one person who has an opinion on everything, and even when they're wrong they're right! These are the kind of guests who bring up topics just to argue them, and if there is nothing to argue they will conjur something out of thin air. Not only do they create uncomfortable situations at every turn, they also tend to offend people, or at the very least make your other guests feel uncomfortable.

A prime example of The Can't Be Wrong scenario comes from a good friend of mine, who entertains with her family often. Her brother's wife and her husband are both very opinionated people. The like rival sports teams, have completely opposite political views on everything from mayoral elections to environmental issues - the sister-in-law has even expressed a hatred toward the family's small home town. Tricky!

The sad truth is that not everyone has the common ability to sense when a topic of conversation is about to tread on dangerous ground, or when they are discussing something with more meaning than mere conversation to the other person in the conversation. This does not mean the "Can't Be Wrong" is a bad person - in fact, it's probably the opposite - they are usually very caring and nice, except when their conversations stumble onto certain topics. The most common topics for The Can't Be Wrong to bring up, and relentlessly continue are:

-Politics
-Religion
-Sports
-Travel
-Business/Investing

And you can bet that their position will not waiver when faced with a different opinion. With these topics off-limits, how can one possibly have a conversation with The Can't Be Wrong? The truth is, after a time, most stop trying, but that usually does not stop The Can't Be Wrong. Sadly, our more laid-back guests will usually not step up and tell the Can't Be Wrong how wrong they are - they will usually find an excuse to leave, or decline the next invitation offered. How can we Hosts On The Run deal with someone like The Can't-Be-Wrong?

1. Don't Invite Them
Of course, this is the most ideal answer in the first place. But what if the Can't Be Wrong is the spouse of a close friend or loved one, or your own family?

2. Keep an ear peeled and change the subject frequently
Usually, the Can't Be Wrong will begin to show his true colors when in a one-on-one conversation. Keep an eye on the Can't Be Wrong, and after about 3 minutes of conversation with one of your guests, go join them. Offer drinks, or sit down and change the subject before it gets heated and feelings get hurt.

3. Assign your crisis companion to "babysit"
Oh, it's sad but true, sometimes you must have someone follow the Can't Be Wrong around just to make sure that the conversations don't trip into dangerous territory.

4. Discuss the issue with a mutual third party
Employing a mutual family member or friend to "drop a hint" to the Can't Be Wrong to cool it when things get steamy, or even after your party all together is another way to deal with this difficult issue. Chances are you already know who could speak to the Can't Be Wrong without it COMING OUT all wrong.

5. Speak to the Can't Be Wrong yourself
Before the party, call the Can't Be Wrong and explain to them that you understand their strong views and opinions are part of their personality, but you would prefer if, for the span of your get-together, they avoid the topics that seem to get blood boiling. This could end one of two ways. First, the Can't Be Wrong will take your wishes to heart and be a positively delightful guest. OR, they could get totally offended and decide not to come all together. Either way, you have done everything you can.

6. If none of these work and you're still obligated to have The Can't Be Wrong at your gathering, give your other guests a heads-up about the Can't Be Wrong so they won't take it personally when the Can't Be Wrong insults their mother.

The Can't Be Wrong is seriously tricky, but if you have to deal with them, good luck! There's only one Guest Gone Wrong left to explore - The Destructo-Guest, and we'll look at this hurricane of a personality in the next issue of Host On The Run!

Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab.

When Good Guests Go Bad Part 4: The Never-Ending Guest

Sometimes, Hosts On The Run can do too good a job of entertaining - so good, in fact, that some people don't ever want to leave! In this issue, number 4 in our 6-part series entitled, "When Good Guests Go Bad", we discuss the "Never-Ending Guest", also known as the guest who just doesn't know when to leave.Whenever I think of The Never-Ending Guest, I'm reminded of the Seinfeld episode when George leaves Elaine and Jerry stranded at a house in Long Island. They had to wait there until Kramer, who got lost, arrived to take them home. How awkward it was, as they sat in the living room, the host and hostess cleaning up in the kitchen, suggesting it was time for them to call a taxi.

Okay, Jerry and Elaine were reluctant to still be there, but when our guests don't know when to leave it can be just as awkward. The truth is, not everyone has a sense of when to leave. Although most of us can feel when the party is winding down and it's time to leave, some others just don't get it. There are specific signals you can give when it's time for your guests to leave. Things such as not re-starting the music, beginning post-party clean up, and discussing the time are all great little hints Hosts On The Run can use to indicate that it's time to leave. Some people just don't get it, though, and these people require much stronger hints, like being told right out that it's time to leave.

Signal 1: Bring the jackets into an area where they are easily accessible to your guest.

Signal 2: Offer to call them a taxi or ask if you can start their vehicle on a cold night. Usually you won't have to go this far, as seeing others start to leave will tell the others they should follow suit.

Signal 3: Put them to work. Go ahead and ask them to help you clean up in the kitchen! One of two things will happen - either they will oblige, in which case you have an extra hand cleaning up, or they will push your pets out of the way to get to the door and dodge the dirty dishes.

But what if the guest has their car running, their jacket out and your kitchen is spotless? Well, this will be a very rare situation, but simply saying, "Well, I'm exhausted, I'm heading to bed" should do the trick. You're still composed and graceful, and no one can ever accuse you of being a rude host. If you wake up and that person is on your couch, however, you may want to consider not inviting him to your next get-together.Our six-part series is coming to a close, but we've still got two great "Guests Gone Bad" in store for you, including "The Can't-Be-Wrong" and "The Destructo-Guest", which we will explore in our next issues! Stay tuned!

Leigh Clements, the Shot In The Dark Mysteries / Your Date With Death Mystery Maiden, writes murder mysteries, non-murder mysteries and custom mysteries for Shot In The Dark Mysteries, and coordinates, hosts and facilitates local events both for Shot In The Dark Mysteries and Your Date With Death Murder Mystery Speed Dating. She can be contacted at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com or mysterymaiden@yourdatewithdeath.com. Aside from plotting murder, she enjoys yoga, reading and hanging with her golden lab